What Happens in the Kitchen, Stays in the Kitchen
by A Warrior's Honor
Summary: Sophitia and Pyrrha are about to face another horrible and unexplained distasteful dish that Patroklos is going to make. Will they survive this one?


Noises and clatter were being heard from the kitchen as Patroklos, trying to be a dear son was preparing dinner for his mother, Sophitia and his sister Pyrrha. He has been taking culinary classes at college and because he learned a new recipe today, he planned to give it to his family. However, Sophitia and Pyrrha know that Patroklos is a terrible cook. As the two sat on the brown couch with the TV off and the dinner table prepared for dinner, they began to remember the one time Patroklos tried to boil water. How can somebody set a grease fire by boiling water is a mystery.

Not forgetting the time when Cassandra came over and Patroklos gave them raspberry pie for desert. Cassandra got sick and was sent to the hospital on that day. For some strange reason, the raspberries in the pie tasted both burnt and raw.

"Um mom? Do we have to eat Patroklos' cooking?" Pyrrha asked "Well of course Pyrrha. I mean we all know he's not the best cook-" "Mom, he's a terrible cook. The boy burned the meat of the chicken and not the skin. How in the hell can that happen?" Sophitia tried to explain but just like Pyrrha, how could something like that happen is another mystery. Basically, everything food that Patroklos cooks is just another mystery because something ominous happens.

The clatter is heard once more and it sounds as if the plates were breaking and determining by the grunts Patroklos was making, he must be using Setsuka's old sword. All this noise began to worry the two but they were actually worried of what bad example of food Patroklos has laid onto the plate. "Um Patroklos?" Sophitia called to her child. Patroklos opened the door and responded "Yes mother?" "If I may ask what are you cooking in there?" He showed a big smile and announced "I am making a Chinese special of dumplings, especially chicken-flavored. You're going to love them, just as long as I can kill these damn chickens! Little suckers won't stay still!" He returned to the kitchen and closed the door, continuing with slaying the chickens, or trying to.

Pyrrha showed a worried expression to her mother "Lord here it comes. Another burnt meat of the chicken! How in the hell someone burns the meat and not the skin?" She asked "Baby even I can't answer that question. But cut him some slack Pyrrha, he's your brother and he's trying." "I know Mom but if I'm laying in the hospital with death approaching me, guess whose the blame?" Sophitia gave her daughter a glare.

Though Pyrrha loved her brother, she always said he wasn't good in everything, especially cooking. Thankfully, she never died from his cooking and neither did a victim who tried his cooking.

The noise continued and Patroklos was now talking and cussing the chickens out "Damn it stay still! You better be happy I'm sending you to the Promised Land!" The sound of the sword cutting each chicken was heard and the two could only imagined what was happening in the kitchen.

Sophitia and Pyrrha continued to hear non-stop clatter erupting from the kitchen and Pyrrha turned to her mother "Hey mom?" Sophitia turned to her daughter "Maybe we can call someone to come over and eat with us." Immediately without response, Sophitia jumped off the couch and lunged for the telephone. She began calling numerous people while Pyrrha continued hearing Patroklos fighting with the chickens "Stay still!" Patroklos opened the door "Hey Pyrrha?" Pyrrha answered "Yeah bro?" "Do you mind if I borrow your sword and shield? Because this is what happened to my sword." Patroklos held up his demolished sword for Pyrrha to see "Oh my God. You're really fighting the chickens aren't you?" He nodded in response.

Pyrrha sighed and gave her weapons to Patroklos and he ran back to the kitchen, closed the door, and resumed to his battle on killing the chickens "Stay and die!" Pyrrha prayed for her sword. She turned her attention back to Sophitia who was on the phone with Taki. Determining by Sophitia's action, Taki declined "Ah come on Taki! We want you to come over for dinner." Taki responded "Hell to the no! I'm sorry Sophitia but I had to rescue you when you destroyed Soul Edge and its shards fell onto your body but I will not eat some of Patroklos horrible cooking. That's a sacrifice I will not take. Goodbye!" Taki hung up the phone before Sophitia could respond.

In anguish, Sophitia hung up the telephone and turned to her daughter "So mom, who is coming?" Pyrrha asked "How should I say it in a calm and cool manner? Ain't nobody coming." "WHAT?!" Pyrrha shouted so loud that Patroklos stop his battle and looked out the door to see what was going on "Is everything okay?" Pyrrha turned her head to her brother and shot him a smile "Oh yeah. Everything is fine in here. Just go back to killing the chickens." Patroklos shot a smile back to Pyrrha and he resumed to fighting the chicken. Pyrrha's smile quickly left and she turned to her mother "Nobody is coming?" Pyrrha asked in a worried voice. Sophitia nodded her head "Scary to say yes. I'm guessing they all tried his cooking and were victims, I mean people who thought he wasn't so good." Pyrrha fell headfirst onto the couch and let out a very silent and shrill scream for Patroklos to not hear.

Sophitia understood Pyrrha and she came over to her, caressing her blonde hair "Don't worry about it Pyrrha. If every single of Patroklos' cooking was not the best and hasn't killed us, thank God, maybe we can survive this one." Pyrrha held up her head and looked into her mother's eyes, saying 'We ain't dying today.' Pyrrha was glad to have Sophitia as a mother, her words and calmness always seemed to tame even the wildest of beasts. However, she still worried about Patroklos terrible food but told her mother "Yeah you're right. We survived every single terrorism of plates we encountered so we can survive this one." Pyrrha sat upright and gave her mother a warm hug, showing appreciation for soothing her mind.

The noise and clatter continued until Patroklos had finally killed the last chicken. He poked out of the door and returned Pyrrha her sword and shield "It's not damaged." Patroklos said with a smile "Oh that's good- I say hot damn!" One whiff of the blade, Pyrrha stood back and covered her nose. Sophitia, who also caught whiff of the scent, covered her nose too. "My God Patroklos! What the hell happened? It smells awful!" Pyrrha said "Oh yeah. Because there were at least ten chickens I rid from this earth, their organs and blood stained on the weapon." Patroklos said. Pyrrha gagged and pushed her weapons to Patroklos "You keep them for a while okay?" Patroklos brought the blades to him "Okay." Patroklos carried the blades back into the kitchen and he started cooking.

Pyrrha and Sophitia waited for almost an hour and when Patroklos finished, he came out with three plates in his arms. He approached the two and placed the plates on each sides of the table. Patroklos sat down with them and after they said grace, Patroklos grabbed his fork and took a bite at the dumpling, enjoying the taste. Meanwhile, Pyrrha and Sophitia could only imagine what the dumpling's taste would be. They stared at each other and shrugged, poking their forks into their food, preparing to eat the inedible dish that Patroklos has made.


End file.
